ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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