I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize