If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
