He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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