just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
