so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Randomize
