What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
