I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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