I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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