Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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