The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
