Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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