I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My vagina just recognized that song.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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