the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
