she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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