Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize