she was so not down for the gang bang
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
