but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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