he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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