I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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