At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Holy shit dude........stairs
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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