My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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