my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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