Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
