i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's never too late to be topless.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
