I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
