As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
