Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
