did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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