I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
