dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i dont even know how to be here
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
