What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
