Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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