did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
