when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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