i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
