My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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