I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
