After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
