you turned your livingroom into a bong?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
