somebody snuck up and got me drunk
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
