Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
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