Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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