but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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