He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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