my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she pinky promised me she was 18
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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