My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize