We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
