her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
