ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
