Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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