HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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