it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
