when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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