you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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