she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
