her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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